As many know, I am an enormous Disney fan, especially any Disney movies where the girl is the central character. Unfortunately, I find myself in the camp of exception when it comes to Encanto.
This past Thanksgiving, our little family went to see Encanto in the theater. While the magical elements were not strong enough to enthrall our little five-year-old daughter, nor was the protagonist’s journey empowering enough to captivate my self aware and independent eight-year-old daughter, the film’s messages triggered myself and even my husband in far deeper ways.
It has taken me this long to process, to research, to converse with others, and to delve beyond the surface of why I was so triggered.
Encanto’s message of generational trauma and its impact on children is absolutely necessary. I believe the effects and the damages were portrayed exceptionally. I also loved the respect for the cultural elements and the creation of this beautiful sanctum of a community. Lin Manuel Miranda’s music was exceptional and enchanting with traditional folk music, the scenery was authentic, the casting was inclusive, the emotional core and familial bonds were strong, the animation detailed and exuberant to show the beauty of native Columbia from its flora and fauna to its comfort and homey (not to mention healing symbology) native dishes to the embroidery elements woven into the fashion! Most of all, Encanto highlights how the family members’ gifts all helped to build a strong community and how their history and overcoming journey is a big part of their magic without resorting to the immigrant stereotype.
Unfortunately, the fundamentalist theme and abuse apologist narrative is where this message loses its magic.
Yes, other messages are positive such as highlighting the plight of the black sheep/scapegoat family members, bringing insecurities and buried emotions to the surface, and standing up to abuse and toxicity. But in the end, the message of Encanto is one of fundamentalistic religiosity: “make your family proud”, “forgive your toxic family”, “insta-healing”, and “everything happens for a reason”.
Disney’s attempt to diversify and showcase more cultural collectivism is also positive and necessary. I am a huge advocate of this. Coco, Frozen 2, and Moana were all shining examples. Moana is in fact my all-time favorite Disney film, and Moana herself is my favorite Disney protagonist. And I absolutely loved Disney’s behind-the-scenes details of Polynesian culture as well as learning more of the culture of my extended family of Coco.
For hours, I also went back and forth in depth, researching with a Latina friend who has lived within native Latina communities who also shared the same concerns as I regarding the fundie messages NOT the cultural aspects. While she AND other members of her Latina community have other issues with the cultural portrayal, that is not my place to share. But with her full permission, I include her QUOTE on the other issues within my critique. But here is a leading quote from my BFF.
“As a Latina individual, when people who are part of any ethnic community state an opinion as the consensus or approved way of seeing things, as a member of the same overarching ethnic community, I take offense because who designated YOU our leader? This circumvents discussion. Debate over nuance, and in the case of the movie, Encanto, it declares a toxic message of the generational trauma is representative of our culture. It’s not. One person cannot speak for all the members of ANY race or ethnic group. We all have a voice. Not okay to shut people down or to storm on the scene as a POC and state, “this is the only acceptable interpretation”. That is not true for any other group. Mainstream American culture does not operate in this fashion. And neither should we.”
In the end, I’ll offer the contrasts with the positivity of these three other mention films.
Mirabel’s (portrayed by extremely gifted Stephanie Beatriz) song in Encanto is Waiting On a Miracle. Please recognize that while I’ll be addressing some triggering content, after the darkness and hurt, I will highlight my personal epiphany of recognizing my family’s MIRACLE through Encanto. And my gratitude to Encanto for helping me process this miracle.
So, stick with it!
Let’s examine some of this. Yes, I’ll be going deep with critique and analysis. And getting a little vulnerable at the end.
- Make Your Family Proud. This is the overarching message of Abuela, the matriarch and authority figure of the Madrigal Family. It is expressed in the introduction of the film when Abuela has little Mirabel on her lap and is telling the story of the miracle candle that birthed the sentient, magical house where the Madrigals live. The darkness of Abuela’s backstory, of her loss of her husband, of being forced out of their home is a well-known and deep theme for the Madrigal Family. Everyone is aware of it. I personally loved the theme of light in the darkness and how the candle birthed a refuge and safe haven out of which came a beautiful, diverse community.
1A. Mirabel: “I’m only part of the amazing Madrigals.” At first, I loved Mirabel’s personality and her voice, because while she had no supernatural gift, unlike all her other family members, she still carved her sense of identity and how she could contribute to her family. This reminded me so much of religious culture’s theology of the concept of the “Body” and all parts working together―a worthwhile message while elevating community support, of collectivism. However, the clinical practice of “Family Systems Theory” used by counselors all over the world necessitates the “Differentiation of Self” in order for one to grow into an emotionally healthy individual. This mean that family/community fusion where people function as part of a system with low levels of Differentiation of Self is the opposite of healthy. Yes, Encanto raises awareness to those of us who understand the gravity of what it feels like to be the black sheep. But unfortunately, over the course of the film, the message is that Mirabel existed as more of an appendix. The type of body part that truly serves no function, except when the body is in pain. And her Abuela made it very clear that Mirabel needed removal.
1B. Bruno: Abuela’s desire for removal or dismissal of family members she didn’t like was a cycle, a pattern established in the previous generation with Mirabel’s uncle, Abuela’s own son: “We don’t talk about Bruno”, who disappeared after his magical ability of future visions was considered “harmful” to the family according to Abuela.
1C. Mirabel’s Parents: What is perhaps more tragic is how Mirabel’s parents are absolutely aware of the toxicity. They chronically must remind their daughter “you have nothing to prove” despite knowing how hard she tries to help her family. At any time, they could have addressed this further, but instead, Abuela’s toxicity was permitted to thrive. And Mirabel’s parents only gently tiptoed around the subject with Abuela.
1D. Abuela: The matriarch of the family fits into the pattern of behavior as defined by the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence’s Wheel of Power and Control. “Step aside. Let the rest of the family do what they do best.” The emphasis of Abuela’s unchecked power is that only those who receive a magical power make the family proud. Yes, the ultimate responsibility lies upon the shoulders of the authoritative matriarch who doesn’t even allow Mirabel in the family photos that showcase all their incredible magic. This dire need to “make your family proud” is placed on the shoulders of little children.
1D2. Mirabel received no magical gift as a child, she internalized her appendix-sense which finally comes out in the song Waiting on a Miracle. “Always walking alone. Always wanting for more. Like I’m still at that door longing to shine like all of you shine. All I need is a change. All I need is a chance. Open your eyes!” she screams to her Abuela. For years, Abuela never listens, and her abuse only grows worse from dismissing Mirabel, gaslighting her while keeping up her appearances, preferring her granddaughter look crazy in public, blaming her, yelling at her, controlling her, pressuring her, allowing others to verbally abuse Mirabel like Isabella, isolating her from other members of her family, refusing to listen to Mirabel, and finally lashing out in a public tirade of putting the demise of the magical house all upon Mirabel right after Mirabel was helping to repair the cracks by bonding with her sister.
- Forgive Your Toxic Family: In this dark scene following Abuela’s tirade, Mirabel voices her epiphany: “I will never be good enough for you, will I? No matter how hard I try…the miracle is dying because of you!” Not once during this entire scene did anyone else step up to affirm or validate Mirabel. Not once did her parents do the right thing to protect their daughter. Instead, Mirabel stands up to her abuser, calls out Abuela’s toxicity, and as a result, the house loses its final magic, the candle goes out, and the house turns into a heap of rubble. Mirabel runs off to the same river where Abuela lost her husband. Abuela tracks her down. This is the darkest moment for the Madrigal Family, an echo of the original darkest moment of loss.
2A. What I wanted most from this scene was more of the light in the darkness magical elements. What I wanted was a true acknowledgment of the deep hurt and abuse that had been dealt to Mirabel. I wanted that sense of empathy from Abuela, of recognizing all the damage she had done. Instead, I felt my heart crack like the broken house when Mirabel opened the conversation and NOT Abuela: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt us. I just wanted to be something…I’m not.” Abuela responds, “I’ve never been able to come back here.” Abuela launches into the long story of her own trauma, of the loss of her husband. Someone explaining/justifying the reason for their toxic behavior is classic, narcissistic abuser method according to countless professional, clinical, educational, and psychological resources. Yes, it’s true that Abuela finally apologizes and tells Mirabel the blame lies on her for the broken house, but this should have come first. Unfortunately, Abuela retains power while Mirabel is the victim in the scene internalizing her broken identity and worth.
2B. Encanto’s message in this climactic scene was all a means to validate the abusive matriarch’s pain and suffering, her past trauma, and NOT all the pain and harm she caused, NOT the pain of the abuser’s VICTIMS. QUOTE: “For years, Abuela played Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In this dark scene, she may as well have screamed at Mirabel: Look at MY pain! Comfort me, placate me even though I systematically HURT you and everyone else despite how I am the adult and the authority figure who has retained power and control. I had an excuse because of all MY pain.” ―Rosa Hopkins: member of the Latina community.
So again, we have the abuser apologist narrative. That despite being given a miracle, a second chance, decades of the matriarch’s stony heart that led to a cycle of power and control, are simply meant to be “understood” and “forgiven”.
- Insta-Healing. After Abuela’s story, Mirabel stands with her, acknowledges the deep weight of Abuela’s suffering, credits her Abuela with giving them a miracle, saving their family, and that they are a family because of Abuela. In the end, Abuela is validated and celebrated. And not just Mirabel, but Bruno is supposed to move on with a simple hug from Abuela after spending years in isolation, living in the walls with rats while everyone in the community condemned him after his own mother dismissed and betrayed him. Sure, there is a little song in the end where Mirabel opens with how their family is a burning light, and Abuela sings along, “I’m sorry I held on too tight. Just so afraid I’d lose you, too. The miracle is not some magic you’ve got. The miracle is you. All of you,” she concludes, gesturing to Bruno. Another trigger for me was when Bruno launches into a rush of sing-songy apologies, and the family welcomes him and simply moves on. All this casual forgiveness is of fundamentalistic “Insta-Healing” theology.
IMPORTANT SIDENOTE: As an advocate and a survivor, I can NEVER ever recommend that an abuse victim, who is in the midst of an abusive situation, that they confront their abuser and call them out. This should only ever be done with the unity of allies around them. It can place a victim in a potentially dangerous situation where their life may be at true physical risk. As someone who has helped others away from abusers, as someone who confronted an abuser and felt real fear, that is solely how much I will tread into this.
- Everything Happens For a Reason. Now, some can argue that Encanto’s conclusion of the town showing up and everyone working as a team to repair the house could be construed as a metaphor for a process of healing. Which I loved. Too bad there wasn’t some public proclamation by Abuela of owning her crap, taking real responsibility, and apologizing to everyone. Instead, the overall message is that those like Mirabel and Bruno had to suffer years of abuse because in the end “everything happens for a reason”. There will be instant healing, forgiveness. Abusers will change. Abuse happens for a reason. Suck it up and get over it. Everything will simply work out.
4A. To dispel the myth of how traumatized people traumatize other people, it should be very revealing when one person responds to trauma by internalizing it and blaming themselves while always seeking to placate those around them (Mirabel), or another responds by walking away from the abuse/trauma while remaining close by in a state of longing, wishing they could fix all the cracks (Bruno), and another person responds to trauma with a desperate need for power and control, bred out of fear and loss. (Abuela).
RESPONSE:
“I like the new foundation. It isn’t perfect,” Mirabel sings as they face the newly rebuilt house. “Neither are we,” Abuela responds.
Oh, look! Mirabel’s entire family stands on each side as Mirabel clutches the doorknob. “We see how bright you burn,” they sing to her. “We see how brave you’ve been. Now, see yourself in turn. What do you see?”
And Mirabel responds, “I see me, all of me,” inserts the magical doorknob, the sentient house comes back to life, and everyone’s powers are restored.
Oh, except for Mirabel. She still gets to go back to being a fused appendix.
My response when I left the theater was simply this: WHAT?
At the end of Encanto, Mirabel looks to all her family for her sense of identity vs. her personality in the beginning. Was she trying too hard? Yes, but at least she had some agency. In the end, she is simply happy to be unhealthily fused as an appendix. No self-discovery. No identity journey. She’s just “part of the family Madrigal”. It’s all about the system and Mirabel sadly has little to no Differentiation of Self.
Perhaps this is a flawed interpretation on my part of Mirabel. I will own that. Perhaps she truly is more grounding for her family and the healing light as expressed. I simply analyzed how other films accomplished this better, including ones featuring BIPOC. At the end, I’ll share how Moana, Coco, and Frozen 2 showcased the themes of conquering generational trauma and family healing through the main characters without them losing their Differentiation of Self. (REMEMBER: Stick with me for my MIRACLE at the end.)
A SURVIVOR’S CONCLUSION of ENCANTO:
Honestly, Encanto main message is a gaslighting message.
In real life, the true scapegoats, the true black-sheep, the Mirabels of us spent years playing along and waiting on a miracle. The Brunos of us are STILL in the darkness hiding and waiting on a miracle.
Encanto’s miracle will NEVER happen for us.
WHY?
Because generational trauma does NOT simply go away.
Because you can NEVER make toxic and abusive family members proud.
Because you do NOT owe anyone your forgiveness, especially your abusers.
Because insta-healing does NOT exist.
99.9% of the time, narcissistic abusers do NOT change.
Perpetuating the myth that victims must simply wait long enough for that magical conversation―where everything will change!―is so disrespectful to us who tried for YEARS:
- Apologizing for every tiny mistake
- Apologizing for our very existence
- Keeping the peace
- Shoving the hurt down
- Placating the authorities and elders around us
- Changing and conforming
- Believing it was all our fault
- Doing our best to carve out our identities
- Belittling ourselves
- Internalizing ourselves as worthless
- Never knowing how to shine
- Suppressing our true identities
- Screaming to be validated and seen for the beautiful gifts we have to offer that were simply shunned,
- Waiting and waiting and waiting ON A FUCKING MIRACLE!
This past year, I was diagnosed with PTSD by a professional psychiatrist, a psychologist, and my own therapist due to the abuse I’d experienced throughout my life. So much of this was unprocessed for years. And I could not understand why certain situations that were normal triggered such a physical reaction in myself.
Why did I have a panic attack around some people and in certain environments?
Why did my body shake around some people when I didn’t want it to?
Why did certain setbacks lead me to a deep, caving depression and self harm?
Why were some things such instant triggers?
Why did I feel more comfortable in either extremes of curling into a little ball of a fetal position and hiding away or the opposite of instant raging storms of temper?
Because that’s what complex trauma does.
Thousands of survivors of abuse experience these things on a regular basis. As well as a variety of mental health and physical health issues as a result of the mountain of trauma.
For years, I was Mirabel. I simply existed, survived while waiting on a miracle. I Did. Not. Live.
I could not grow right because abuse is like thorns and weeds choking your true self, dragging you down where there is NO light in the darkness.
YES! I absolutely wanted a SUPERNATURAL/MAGICAL/OTHERWORLDLY explanation for the family coming back together and the house bursting to life! At least, that would have made my experiences seem less crappy because hey!―the supernatural isn’t truly real!
And yes, while sometimes, I identify far more with Bruno―on the outside looking in―feeling isolated and low as the worthless rats around me (hey, give it up for my fellow FUNDIE OUTCASTS, let’s be rats together!), I am able to process TWO very POSITIVE and IMPORTANT things about Encanto. The second is MY miracle.
- These Three Films Are BETTER!
A1. FIRST CONTRAST: MOANA!
In Moana’s darkest moment, her grandmother comes to her in the form of a spirit, encourages her, doesn’t place so much responsibility on her shoulders, affirms what she knows about Moana, and asks Moana, “do you know who you are?” And Moana reflects to herself: “I am the girl who loves my island. I am the girl who loves the sea. It calls me.” She then acknowledges her ancestral descendent, her journey, and all her accomplishments. “And the call isn’t out there at all. It’s inside me! I will carry you here in my heart, you remind me that come what may, I know the way! I am MOANA!”
What a beautiful and outstanding testimony of strong identity AND togetherness! Of a deep spiritual bond to those who came before her, who set the foundation, and of how Moana recognized her identity and used it to reclaim the heart of a goddess turned lava monster due to toxic masculinity while Moana did this by feminine power!
And yes, Moana returned to her physical family, who embraced her and she used her master wayfarer skills to teach her entire community so they could all return to their ancestral roots of traveling across the sea in a beautiful expression of Polynesian history and culture.
A2. SECOND CONTRAST: COCO
It took me some time to fall in love with Coco, but I did. Like Miguel, I identified as the black sheep who loved his gift, chased his dreams, and simply wanted his family to understand. Unlike Mirabel, Miguel and Moana both went on journeys where they fell in love with their ancestors and family, learned their power, adopted high levels of “Differentiation of Self”, experienced and activated familial healing and overcoming trauma, and were validated by their families for their gifts.
“When I opened my mouth, what came out was a song. And we all sang along. To a melody played on the strings of our souls and the rhythm that rattled us down to the bone. Our love for each other will live on forever in every beat of my proud corazon!”―Miguel.
A3. THIRD CONTRAST: FROZEN 2
The beauty of Frozen 2 was not simply in owning one’s identity and worth, in family healing, in embracing the foundation of those who came before us, and overcoming generational trauma, but Frozen 2 also paralleled the healing and atonement of cross-cultural trauma.
When Disney erroneously used the Sami songs and appropriated the culture of indigenous peoples of Norway, it was time to “Do the Next Right Thing” by raising awareness and showcasing the beauty of this culture through the Northuldra people with Sami i. As privileged and mixed race, Anna and Elsa, however divided by sisterly hurt, were both prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for the Northuldra people from Elsa freezing to learn the truth and send the message to Anna to Anna prepared to sacrifice her beloved Arendelle home to bring healing to her extended family.
Never losing their power “Show Yourself” for Elsa and “Do the Next Right Thing” for Anna, each sister possessed a high level of Differentiation of Self along with familial togetherness without unhealthy and toxic fusion.
Don’t even get me started on the beauty of these familial themes AND the light in the darkness conveyed through the cinematography and visual effects of ALL these films.
Mirabel and her family deserved better.
MY MIRACLE! (I told you it was coming at the very end).
Our new family tradition of seeing kids’ films in the theater was activated at the exact same time Kevin and I walked away from toxic family. This was by far the hardest and most hurtful thing we ever had to do. On the same night, Thanksgiving 2019, we saw Frozen 2. For those who know anything about my family, it’s that the personalities of Elsa and Anna are eerily similar to my sister and I, me being Anna and my older sister as Elsa.
In Frozen 2, when Anna was in the cave in her darkest and lowest moment of feeling numb, empty, weak, knowing her sister had gone to a place she could not find, I experienced the deep weight of that grief.
However, my miracle was also in identifying with Elsa, something I never ever thought I would do. After having gone through some spiritual healing and awareness, in learning and understanding God in the realm of the Divine Feminine (El-Shaddai=breasted one, Ezer Kenegdo-a feminine name for God), I felt that affirming Mother Goddess in the voice of Elsa’s mother and Elsa singing united:
“I am found! Show yourself. Step into your power. Grow yourself into something new. You are the one you’ve been waiting for…all of my life!”
Like Moana, Miguel, Elsa, and Anna, I had to go on a journey of leaving my family. A lot of times, I still feel like Anna on the hilltop of Northuldra, waiting, hoping, praying Elsa will come riding to the shoreline, while I would love to see my family like in Encanto open their eyes to say, “we see how bright you burn, Emily”, I have something profoundly more important.
DIFFERENTIATION OF SELF: The miracle is my higher levels than where I was before. I own my true power and identity and my worth as a Goddess-blessed, beautiful bisexual woman, overcomer, author, wife, and mother to two daughters.
MY MARRIAGE: The miracle is my amazing husband who has walked this journey with me. I would never trade anything for how our marriage has grown stronger and more steadfast after we walked away from the weeds and thorns choking us. How we affirm and empower each other’s identities in togetherness without unhealthy fusion.
MY DAUGHTERS: The miracle are my daughters, our daughters. My girls will NEVER have to wait on a miracle because I have spoken over them the miracles they already are! Because they know and will always know their innate worth and identity. Because I teach them to own their power and strength, to chase their dreams and passions, to work hard and grow. Because I validate their special gifts and will always support those gifts regardless of how and where and why they choose to use them!
BREAKING THE CYCLE: The miracle is in breaking the chains. Of rebirth and renewal. Of recognizing the toxic weeds and thorns of the communities I have come from, but establishing new roots so my husband and our family may grow in togetherness as individual trees with our own personalities, gifts, beliefs, journeys, and extending our branches so we may embrace the positive communities that may come.
MY REAL FAMILY:
Family should not be toxic. Family should not expect you to simply get over abuse after years of telling you that you could never shine with your gifts or your worth was as low as the rats.
Family is sometimes who you choose and not who you are born to. I have found so much family in the form of friends.
Because family:
Sings the song of your heart as in Coco,
Steps onto the boat and helps you face a lava monster as in Moana,
Stays with you in the darkness of grief and breaks down cultural dams with you,
And speaks like a spiritual older sister or mother over your soul as in Frozen 2.
Overall, I validate and affirm the positive messages and themes and cultural elements of Encanto and how it raises awareness to generational trauma. I simply couldn’t allow some of the potentially harmful and personally triggering messages as a child abuse survivor and an anti-abuse advocate to go unanswered.
But in the end, I credit Encanto with more self-awareness and recognition of this simple epiphany:
I’m not waiting on a miracle anymore. Thank you, Encanto, I ALREADY HAVE MANY.